So I don't know what it is recently, but I've been in this weird grumpfest for the past few weeks. Yes, that is a word. It's just been all the time I've been in the worst possible mood for days on end. I honestly can't remember the last time I was truly happy and had a good day. That's so weird. I'm not like depressed or angry or anything to be worried about, but I'm literally on edge every second that I am awake, and that includes nights where I've woken up in the middle of the night and have been up for hours.
It seems like everything Riley does just agitates me and I can't even enjoy him playing without getting angry that he is having fun. That's weird, right? Shouldn't I love hearing him laugh and giggle? Right now, it's just noise that is irritating. He's the easiest baby in the world, and taking care of him is a joy. Just not recently. He's done nothing wrong except be a baby which isn't even wrong. Same goes for the wife's voice. Yes, I'm getting going to get in trouble for saying that, but the sound of her voice just frustrates me.
I honestly don't know what's going on. Could it have stemmed from pulling out of Nationals and not having that to look forward to? Even my long runs are dreaded because I know it's just me and the road and all I have with me is music and my thoughts. My birthday was last week and even during that day, there was still something going on in my mind. I was thinking back to last year and how I was racing that weekend and then I ran through the finish line with Riley and it was great. That put me in a weird mood since I missed it and couldn't enjoy my birthday.
I know I'm thinking a lot about work and I'm stressed with that, but that can't be the only reason. Maybe it's that time of the month for me. Boys go through cycles don't we?
The one thing that it isn't affecting is my workouts. Those have gone pretty well. Considering Tri season just finished this past weekend and I am going to start Marathon season tomorrow, things will get a little more clearer with that. but my bike rides have gone great and every run except for my long runs have gone great.
I don't know what it is but I need to get out of this funk and soon. It's not good for anyone. There have been some good things the past few weeks to be happy about. The wife had her first race, my birthday, some good things for work, and just normal every day things. But I just can't get behind them and enjoy.
It's time to break out and get things moving in the right direction.