My first win!!!

For the WIN

Last week I did something I have never done before.  Win an ENTIRE race.  Not an Age Group win, not make the podium, but be the first person to cross the finish line and break the tape.

I signed up for the Taconic Runner's St. Patty's day 10k to see how my fitness is leading into triathlon season. I thought it would be a good test and since my running this off-season has been going better than ever, I wanted to really see what I was capable of.

For the sake of keeping a 10k race report short, here's how it went down- abridged version.

The gun went off and 3 of us went out of the shoot like a bat out of hell.  All under 5:50 pace for the first mile.  I thought there was no way that I could hold this pace for the entire race, but I stayed with the other 2.  One was a 25 year old shirtless runner, and the other a 45 year old guy.  So I split the middle age group and all of us stayed together the entire way.  How close you ask?

That's as far apart as we were the entire race

Shirtless boy would surge on the down hills, but he fell back at the uphills.  This is where I excelled. It was like a yo-yo.  He would surge, then we would pull him back.

Since the course was a 2 lap course, at the 2.5 mile mark, there was a big hill.  Seeing shirtless boy couldn't hang on the hills, I took a mental note for the second lap. As the second lap went, it was the exact same as the first.  We were no more than 2 feet from each other.  I realized I felt good so at this point, I thought a win might be possible.

Fast forward to mile 5.5 at the hill. It was exactly as I thought.  I am a strong hill runner so attacked the hill and no one could stay with me.  With half a mile to go, I turned on the jets and went for the finish line.

I crossed in first, pumped my fist, and led out a HUGE yell. My first ever win.  Even though it was a local 10k, there were still over 5-600 runners and I was the first one.  Not too bad.  It was even better that this was the first race I was representing Team Big Sexy Racing, so I was happy to perform and get a win for the team.

Fear as a motivator

For everyone who knows me, they know that I am motivated on a daily basis by one thing: Fear.  Not fear in the sense of spiders, bugs, heights, etc, but real fear.  With a capital F.  It pretty much consumes me and makes me try and be a better person.

Realize I am not talking about what motivates me during my training.  That ultimately is done by me wanting to push myself as far as I can.  I'm talking about the Fear of not being a good dad, husband, person, and not being able to provide for my family.

This has taken on an even greater purpose for me when the wife and I bought a house about a year.  Instead of not being able to pay rent every month, now it is can I afford to pay the mortgage, can I keep lights, will there be food on the table.  Those types of things.

So what does this mean?  Really nothing.  I can't live my life in Fear every day and let it consume me, though it seems to a lot.  Maybe it's the industry that I work in, maybe it's some type of insecurity, maybe it's something else that I haven't thought of.  The only thing that I can do is try to be the best at what I do every single day.  It helps to have a supportive wife and family to help keep this Fear under wraps, though it at times takes a toll on them.

Even though this post may seem cryptic and weird, it is something that I have thought about constantly and wanted to share my thoughts.  So I wonder, what motivates you and what are you scared of?