Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Fear as a motivator

For everyone who knows me, they know that I am motivated on a daily basis by one thing: Fear.  Not fear in the sense of spiders, bugs, heights, etc, but real fear.  With a capital F.  It pretty much consumes me and makes me try and be a better person.

Realize I am not talking about what motivates me during my training.  That ultimately is done by me wanting to push myself as far as I can.  I'm talking about the Fear of not being a good dad, husband, person, and not being able to provide for my family.

This has taken on an even greater purpose for me when the wife and I bought a house about a year.  Instead of not being able to pay rent every month, now it is can I afford to pay the mortgage, can I keep lights, will there be food on the table.  Those types of things.

So what does this mean?  Really nothing.  I can't live my life in Fear every day and let it consume me, though it seems to a lot.  Maybe it's the industry that I work in, maybe it's some type of insecurity, maybe it's something else that I haven't thought of.  The only thing that I can do is try to be the best at what I do every single day.  It helps to have a supportive wife and family to help keep this Fear under wraps, though it at times takes a toll on them.

Even though this post may seem cryptic and weird, it is something that I have thought about constantly and wanted to share my thoughts.  So I wonder, what motivates you and what are you scared of?

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