This Monday kicks off the start of the New York City Marathon week. It feels really weird to me. I know I said earlier this year that I am done running stand alone marathons for a while, but this one hurts.
Let's obviously rewind to last year where I was supposed to run the race, as well as I had a seeded entry which put me in the start of the race along with the professionals (in a different corral, but in the front row) but Hurricane Sandy cancelled the race. This is not the debate of whether it should have been or not cancelled since that ship has sailed, but more so what I'm going through right now. So last year when it was cancelled the Friday night before the race, instead of doing a carbo-loading dinner the night before the race, Leo, the wife, and I did a tequila loading margarita infused dinner to get our minds off of not racing on Sunday. It was definitely a downer for all of us. We were excited to run but those plans got altered.
So flash forward to right now, it's definitely depressing for me. I didn't even sign up for the race, the lottery, or take my deferral from last year so I have no right to feel this way. But somehow I do. It's weird. I get like this when there is a big race that either I've done before or I am excited about. For example, last year when the NY Ironman was taking place. I was so bummed that entire day. I had less than zero desire to do it, wasn't interested in it, but come race day, I was so depressed. It's so weird.
As for the NY Marathon, I think part of it is I live directly on the marathon course. I mean, On the course. Not a few blocks away, not close. On the course. Right at about the marker for Mile 17, is my apartment. So I can either see the race from my window, or go outside and walk 17 steps to the curb and I'm on the course. There are the course banners hanging from the street pole from my apartment. It's impossible not to see any of these. I also do most of my training in Central Park where the race takes place so I see the banners there when I run a few times each week also. It's hard not to get caught up in the hype of the race when it surrounds me. There is always a constant reminder for me. My weekend runs the past few weeks, I've seen the banners and finish area. Driving my car near my apartment, I see the signs. It's everywhere. Since the race will be going on all day, I'll have a constant reminder of it, and of course, I'll be watching it the entire day.
It's weird. I had no desire to run this race, but when I see all the attention to it, I want to jump in and go. I know my body wouldn't allow me to race this year with a lot of the training I have done throughout the year, as well as not having an offseason last year. But still, the New York City Marathon is an amazing experience and one that I want to do again. I think that with all the racing I have done this year, I learned how to pace myself for a marathon of this magnitude and would be able to do well. I don't think I could have said that last year, so I'm happy that I learned something.
The lone bright spot is that I'll actually be covering some of the marathon for Runner's World this year and I'm excited that I get the chance to do that. It'll be a new type of experience for me, but it still doesn't hold a candle to running the race.
The wife and I are probably moving out of NYC in the next couple of years, so I may only have a few more chances to run the race living here, so I have already decided that I will be running next year's race. I don't know how I'll get in, whether it be from the lottery or charity but I'm be toeing the line at the 2014 NYC Marathon with 2 goals in mind. To get a BQ, but more importantly to enjoy the race. When I ran it in the past, I was to naïve to know what was going on, but next time, I'll be ready. I'll be able to run a smart race as well as take in all the experiences.
Getting depressed for something that I wasn't excited for is just so weird for me. But unfortunately, it's what I am going through. Watch out for 2014. This depressed feeling will easily get turned around.
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