Thursday, March 14, 2013

A Few Days Away and Feeling Guilty

This week I had to travel to Denver for work.  My company is conducting a training program and they want the management team to be there so we know how and what our sales reps are going through and how to develop and coach them out in the field.  Sitting through this training is definitely helpful and I have been pleasantly surprised at how much I am getting out of it.  Normally I cant stand these types of trainings and its painful to sit there day after day.

The problem is that I will be away from home for 4-5 days.  I travel a lot for my job.  Mostly they are day trips or I am gone for a night at a time and come home and maybe travel a second time in a week.  There are always days in between travel where I come home and can be with the family.  I havent been away from home for this long since Riley was born.  So this is something completely different for the wife and I.  Because its been the winter time and Riley is too young, on nights that I have traveled before, I would drop Thunder off at my parents house (thank goodness they live 20 minutes away), and then head away. As much as I want the wife to walk Thunder, its just too early right now.  In a few weeks and when it gets warmer, she can take Thunder out for his night walk and then morning walk and it wont be that much of a problem.  But its just too soon right now. 

By me leaving for this long leaves a lot of pressure on the wife.  She doesnt have an outlet or help to take care of Riley.  I know she is now a "stay at home mom" and taking care of Riley is her full time job, but she doesnt have an outlet at all for the next few days.  Her brother was supposed to come over and babysit tomorrow so she can have a few minutes to herself, but he had to cancel because he is sick.  All my wife wanted to do is go to the gym for a quick workout.  I'm happy she wants to go.  There have been times she hasnt wanted to go and I have gotten on her case.  But now, she wants to go, wants some time to herself and no one can help her.  Its not exactly fair.  And on the flip side, while I dont have much time to workout here in Denver, it is 70 degrees outside and absolutely amazing out.  I'm finding ways to fit in a few runs here or there while I'm here.  Hopefully, I wont be stuck in so many late meetings that I can be able to get out and do a run outside.  This area is amazing and I can wait to go for a 6-8 mile run outside in this area.  I love to see the sights and havent been able to run in this weather since the end of last season.  So its been a few months since Ive been in this nice weather. 

So right now I feel guilty. I know there is nothing I can do.  I would much rather be home with her, Riley, and Thunder, but its a business trip that I have to be on this week.  Yet, during my run today in my hotel, I kept thinking how easy it was for me to change clothes and go down to the hotel gym and go for a 5 mile sprint interval workout.  I was in and out in 25 minutes.  But the wife cant find time to do this.  She cant even find 30 minutes for her to squeeze in some time for herself.  She's also trying to sleep train Riley without my help.  So instead of us trading who is going to take care of him in the middle of the night, its all on her.  This can be extremely taxing and stressful.

I dont get home until Sunday night, and I know the wife has a few plans and help for the weekend but I hope from now until then, she finds some time to get in a workout, destress, and just relax.  She deserves it.

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